where can you find the ideal priest?

If he preaches over ten minutes, he is too long winded.

If his sermon is short, he is too easy going.

If the parish funds are low, he is a bad business man.

If he visits his parishioners, he's nosey.

If he doesn't, he's snobbish.

If he has raffles and fancy fairs, he is bleeding the people.

If he doesn't, the parish is lacking in social life.

If he takes time in Confession, he's too slow.

If he doesn't, he is not a good confessor.

If he starts Mass on the minute, his watch is fast.

If he's a bit late, he's holding up the congregation.

If he re-decorates the Church, he's spending too much money.

If he doesn't, he's letting it run down.

If he's young, he's not experienced.

If he's old, he should retire.

If he dies, there will never be his equal again.

What a Life !